Book Review: “Bullied: What Every Parent, Teacher, and Kid Needs To Know About Ending the Cycle of Fear”

In 2010 I reached out to a mom whom I had never met, but I knew her story through the blogosphere. Her young daughter Katie was being bullied in her first grade class for liking Star Wars. Like thousands of other people I reached out to little Katie’s family, and began chatting with Katie’s mom Carrie over email. I sent Katie and her little sisters some girl-power Redefine Girly tees from the Pigtail Pals shop, the girls sent me a thank you card with a robot on it and some awesome drawings, and the rest is history.

Carrie Goldman and I became fast friends, mostly because we have kids the same age and we are navigating the world as parent activists/bloggers who are trying to create change via education on social media. She is also, in a word, awesome. Her whole family is.

I was thrilled last year when Carrie told me about her book deal, and honored when she interviewed me for the book. Her new book, “Bullied” comes from a place of passion. You feel it on the pages, because you can feel Carrie’s genuine concern that we change. You feel Carrie’s devotion to teaching us to change the way we look at bullying, its victims, and the bystanders. Chapters look at components like: gender and not conforming to it, physical appearance, GLTB kids, sexualization, gendered marketing, social and emotional learning, restorative justice, and creating family environments that create neither bullies nor victims. Carrie pulls in experts to give words of wisdom between the candid stories she shares from other families dealing with the issue that worries so many parents: Will my child be bullied?

In “Bullied”, Carrie calls on parents, educators and schools, communities, retailers, celebrities, and media to examine our own stereotypes and embrace our joint responsibility for creating a culture of acceptance and respect. This message greatly resonated with me, as I have experienced bullying as a victim when I was younger and as a parent. This past year in kindergarten a boy in my daughter’s class decided to single out her and little Benny. He terrorized them for months on the playground. In the beginning, I tried to let the kids navigate the friendship and solve their own problems, but when the problems became systematic and targeted, I would have none of it. Playground spats turned into violence against my children, and at one point the child told my daughter he would kill her if she didn’t become his girlfriend. That day after school, Amelia ran out the doors and onto the playground, threw her bag on the snow, turned to her bully coming after her, and with tears streaming down her face she screamed in a mighty voice that he had no right to threaten her or kill her, that he was a bully, and that if he went after her little brother that afternoon, she’d hurt him. All of the moms nearby immediately intervened, and the next morning I was cussed out by his mother on the playground. My head was kind of swirling, because I had no idea how to really handle it. I knew the steps to take, but I had to talk Amelia down from her “heart startles” from this boy’s eruptions and assure her she was safe at school. She had nightmares, and her little brother was equally terrified of this kid. We tried approaching the teacher a few times, and I met with the principal, but ultimately the child was doing most of the bullying before and after school, so there wasn’t much they could do. This particular child was constantly in trouble, but sadly, he wasn’t the teachers’ biggest problem student and this little guy fell through the cracks. I wanted to bop him on the head and hug him at the same time.

It was difficult to help my children navigate their feelings and rightful anger about the situation, while at the same time teaching them empathy and understanding and dealing with adversity. First grade begins in just under a month, and after reading “Bullied”, I feel much more prepared to handle an issue should it arise this year. “Bullied” is full of proven strategies and concrete tools for teaching children how to speak up and carry themselves with confidence; call each other out on cruelty; resolve conflict and cope with teasing, taunting, physical abuse, and cyberbullying; and be smart consumers of technology and media. This is the book that will help us do better.

And we can. Do better.

“When you know better you do better.” -Maya Angelou

Katie "Star Wars Katie" and Carrie Goldman

I have four copies of “Bullied” to give away. Let me know in the comments here how you would use this book to change the culture around bullying to one of dignity and respect. I will pick four winners on Friday, August 10th at 10pm CST.

You can find Carrie on her wonderful blog, on facebook, and twitter. You can share your story or advice about bullying here, and join me on Team Bullied.

To order your copy of “Bullied”, go straight to Amazon or click here.

To book Carrie to speak, please make arrangements through Suzanne Wickham at Harper Collins. Her email is Suzanne (dot) wickham (at) harpercollins (dot) com.

I really loved her book, and I hope you find it as useful as I did.


 

 

Comments

  1. I was bullied, but not nearly as much as others in my year and I still can’t believe that I didn’t say or do something to change what I knew was not fair or right. But I didn’t know what to do. I want to teach my kids that even if they don’t feel they can speak up that there are other avenues, and I want to learn about thoe alternatives, because they will witness bullying. My biggest fear is that my children will be bullied, and I have no idea how I would deal with it. No clue. I would love to read this book and learn more.

  2. Susie R. says:

    So this subject has been on my mind a lot the last couple days. This weekend I attended a 20 year high school reunion and *almost* didn’t go… because of a bully. A bully I haven’t laid eyes on since I was 14. The thought of seeing his face was so painful that it nearly kept a grown woman who is otherwise strong, happy and thriving, from going to see old friends.

    I went, and he wasn’t there, but his best friend was. At one point he saw me, recognized me and sneered at me. It was clear that he was still the person who looked for the easy target and who went out of their way to be cruel for no reason. As I turned away, thinking of making my excuses and bolting, something happened. A tiny little woman stepped up, said my name, broke into a grin, and gave me a big hug. Here, out of nowhere, was my savior. This was Molly, who in sixth grade when the bully was reducing me to tears on a daily basis was my one true and staunch friend. Molly who didn’t care if I was rich or pretty or popular or what these little creeps thought of me. Molly, who just as she had when we were 11, knew just the thing to do to make me feel like a person rather than the diminished little heap the bully wanted me to be.

    What would I do with this book? I’d teach my kids to be like Molly. The world needs more Mollys in it and if I can’t always summon the courage to be like her, maybe I can raise kids who surpass me in that area. I would use this book to raise kids who are not just bully-proof themselves, but carry with them the power to shield those who was weaker than they are. I would use this book to raise Mollys.

  3. As someone who is looking to start a family in the very near future, I would read this book and find ways to teach my future kids to stand up for not only theirselves and family and friends but for strangers they may come across who are being bullied. I have just read too many awful stories of terrible things happening to people in a big group of bystanders. Sometimes all it takes is just one person to do or say something to get others to step up and make a difference. Not only do I hope to teach my kids how to stand up for themselves, but I also hope to help teach myself to stand up for what is right when I see someone bullying a stranger. Those situations often feel like we are removed from them, but that is part of the problem in allowing it to happen. Thank you so much for your site and all your work!

  4. As someone who was ruthlessly bullied all the way through both grade & high school, I can vouch for the damage that it can do. I was not only bullied in school, but by my own family as well.
    I plan on working on the way I speak about others, at all times, as I now have a son of my own, and do not wish for him ever to be rude or disrespectful, let alone mean.
    I would hope that by reading this book, I’d be able to learn the best ways to help keep him both from ever being a bully, and to avoid being bullied himself.

  5. When I was young I was bullied a lot. I live in fear that my daughter will be bullied and I won’t know what to do because nothing I did, nothing my mom did, nothing ever helped. I don’t have the answers.
    I would you this book to arm myself with answers; to arm my daughter with solutions so the no matter what if she or someone else is a victim, we can and will stop it.

  6. I must admit, this in an area in which my knowledge is severely lacking. We’ve been fortunate in that our daughter isn’t bullied and has lots of friends. Of course they have their squabbles, but generally they can figure it out for themselves.

    To think of any child being bullied, breaks my heart. I totally get what you said about wanting to bop this kid as well as hug him at the same time. Often bullies have problems of their own which they take out on others. I know some people taking care of kids who aren’t theirs and the horrible circumstances under which these kids are suffering and they (the kids) do tend to take it out on others, much to their carers dismay. It’s rough on everybody.

    We are constantly doing our best to educate our daughter to have empathy for others. To try and help if she sees unfairness or hurt. She started prep this year and uses her empathy and kindness to encourage kids in her class, whether it’s friendships, better behaviour, getting awards, being helpers, you name it. Georgia actually won a “Timothy Award” from the school for her “dedication to school life and whose attitudes demonstrate qualities commended in God’s word”. Imagine what she could achieve If she could apply this energy to preventing bullying among her and her peers.

    How would I use this book? I’d educate myself so that I could educate others, starting with my daughter. It would help us develop strategies that she could use if she witnessed other children being bullied. She could then be an example for other kids so they too can help if they witness bullying or are victims of bullying. Paying it forward so to speak. It has to start somewhere and I think it’s our duty as parents to start with our own children because that’s where we can have the most influence and make the most difference.

    I think it would also be pertinent to approach the school and see if they will maybe have a session or two about bullying and to give the kids strategies for coping. If we can teach the kids while they’re young, then maybe by the time they’re in high school, we’ll have a whole generation of kind kids who help each other instead of cutting each other down.

  7. Michelle Riddle says:

    I’ve been following your blog (and talking about it to everyone I know) for a while but have never “participated”. First, thank you. I’m so excited to read a review about a book on bullying that has concrete information and techniques. As an educator I am excited to hear about a book that can be put into immediate practice. On a personal note I hope this book can add to my store of knowledge as I work to raise two girls to be confident enough to stand up and speak out. I’ve spent the last 8 years watching my younger sister struggle to break out of an abusive marriage and my biggest prayer is that my girls know their self-worth enough to never be treated as less than by anyone.

  8. Working in the schools, I think this would be a very valuable resource. Bullying happens way too often, in varying shapes and sizes. Fresh ideas are always a help. What a great tool for a school community!

  9. I have young children: not school age yet, but I have seen the effect bullying has on children and parents. When the behavior is not squashed when they are young, they continue to be perpetrators of bullying. I fear the many avenues my children have the potential to be bullied on as they grow up: the internet, phones…. it can easily overtake their worlds and eliminate their safe zones these days. I want to not only be prepared to be my child’s number one advocate (to know when to stand on the sidelines and when to intervene), but I also need to know how to see my own child’s behavior objectively so they are not bullies but the kind of kids that spread the word bullying is not okay.

  10. Sounds like an amazing book. I would love to read it. I am a former elementary school teacher(may go back one day), and I know its not what most people want to hear, but it is so hard to combat in the classroom. It so often boils down to a he said, she said, and sometimes the kids are soo sneaky about it. I am honestly terrified some days at the thought of my children being in classrooms these days given what I experienced while teaching, and remembering some of the things I went through, particularly in middle school.

  11. Melissa,

    As the author of Bullied, I am so grateful to you for helping to spread the word about my new book. I really feel very hopeful that Bullied will help change the way that people look at the problem of bullying, in order to make room for more effective solutions to the problem. To all of your readers, I hope you do find a way to read the book, even if you do not win a copy! All the best, Carrie Goldman

  12. I wanted to thank you for writing this book. I actually am looking at this issue through the eyes of a former bully. In middle school, I was desperate to fit in and I am ashamed to say that I picked on others to make myself fell better. I am happy to say that I eventually found a new group of friends and I was able to find confidence in myself. Now, as a mother of two young children, I am terrified of them falling on either side of the teasing. I want them to follow a different path than I did and I hope to learn from your book how to teach them to stand up for themselves and others. Again, thank you.

  13. I’m a teacher, so sadly I deal with bullying often. I was also bullied as a child, so I see a lot of myself in my students that are bullied. I have a daughter, and I’m so worried that she’ll be bullied like my husband and I were and I won’t know what to do to help her.

    In my classroom, it hurts every time I witness something and intervene, because I know for every incident I see, there are many more I never see. I know the way I deal with bullying doesn’t help long-term (we use the “Golden Rule” analogy and push having empathy for others), and I desperately want to learn new ways to help my students. When kids aren’t worried about their safety (physical and emotional), they have more energy available for learning and creative thinking in school and in life.

    Kids who are doing the bullying need to change how they’ve internalized how to treat people and learn to do so respectfully, otherwise kids that are bullies grow up to terrorize adults instead of children. Everyone involved in bullying is a victim (bully, victim, bystander) and unless we find a way to fix how we treat bullying issues and find a way that actually works, it will continue to affect people into adulthood.

    Sadly, people that are experts on the subject are parents that have had to advocate for their children when no one else did. So who better to learn from than moms that have been through it and know what works and how to get through to kids.

  14. Rebecca O. says:

    As a parent who was bullied as a child, I’m trying to navigate both how to raise my kids to stand up for themselves and how to not blame them if that’s not enough. I’m a volunteer at the school, and I would love to have some suggestions on how to change the environment as well as how to help my kids.

  15. I’m not commenting for myself, but for the Gay Straight Alliance located at Pasco Hernando Community College in New Port Richey, Florida. This group has repeatedly attempted to focus the community around it about bullying, not only for LGBT students but for anyone who feels like an outcast. In fact, before this group became “known” on campus, and before they walked in the St. Pete Pride Parade, they reached out to everyone with just that premise, and does to this day. I think the GSA would benefit from this book because they frequently attend community events where the very topics this book focuses on and would be able to get it’s message directly to other people who would benefit most from it.

  16. re: book contest… responding to your request would likely yield a book, so instead I respectfully offer a donation of $25 to the anti-bullying charity of your choice :o)

  17. While I was teased pretty mercilessly as a kid (6th grade in particular comes to mind), I don’t believe I suffered anything that would rise to the level of bullying. So I can’t say that a copy of Bullied will have any profound effect on my own life or offer any personal catharsis.

    BUT, I am on the Local School Council (like a local board of ed for just the one school) for our neighborhood’s elementary school. Anti-bullying has been a point of emphasis for a number of years. The system our school uses isn’t perfect, and there’s been issues getting parents and some teachers on board.

    If I receive one of the copies of Bullied, I will donate it to the school and have the principal read it, in hopes of strengthening the anti-bullying campaign. If necessary, we’ll get the teachers to read it too. Basically, we’ll use the book as a way to change the culture for 350+ kids in a Public School in Chicago.

    • Hi Josh –
      I have chosen you to be one of the winners of a copy of “Bullied”. I’ll email you to get your address 🙂

      • Thank you Melissa!
        The school got the book a couple days ago. The principal is reading it now, I’ll be reading it when she’s done, and then we’re making it available in our parent room for all the parent volunteers–that’s been identified as the area our school needs the most ‘training’ in how to spot and stop bullying.

        Thank you!

  18. Hunter G says:

    As a student an sibling I have some very first hand experience in terms of what an epidemic bullying has become in schools today. When I was younger my family moved around constantly, and always being the new kid at school I struggled to make friends and often became the target of bullies. At one point, it had gotten so bad I became physically ill from the stress. Now I have gotten older and learned to be more confident in myself, and have started a joint task-force between the school board, vice-principal, and student council to bring awareness about what bullying really does to the students at our high school to kids and the community. I would love a copy of this book because I really feel like it spreads an important message and anything I could use to help gain more support and ideas for our high school’s anti-bullying initiative would be amazing.

    On a more personal note, my younger sister has begun to fall into the same traps of being bullied her school, so aside from helping at the high school I would love my Mother and her to read it together. I feel like the message would help her move into a better place or at least understand that this happens to other people and things will get better for her.

    Thank you so much for the post letting me know about this book and to Mrs. Goldman for writing it. You are amazing for standing up for your kid and trying to help kids facing bullies everywhere. So many parents and teachers shrug off the problems as school age drama, its nice to see someone taking the problem seriously and trying to get others to do the same.

  19. We homeschool our children, so bullying at school isn’t our issue — but we live on a block with a ton of kids, all of whom play together, and wow is bullying ever an issue there! My daughter is entering those middle school years when girls can be SO nasty to each other — but then, is there an age at which nastiness isn’t possible? — and we’ve had some pretty nasty situations. Even more worrisome, the boys on our block have as their primary pastimes: (1) riding bikes; (2) playing basketball; and (3) pressuring the girls for things they don’t want to give. Another mom and I are trying to steer the girls in a healthier direction, but we could sure use some guidance, because we feel pretty clueless most days! My husband and I are also looking into Cub Scouts for our son as a (hopefully) healthier social setting than the other (older) boys on our block can offer, but having this book could help us proactively make sure that the Cub Scout troop IS healthier, so we can help that happen for our own kids and others instead of just hoping that someone else has already made it happen.

  20. Hello, I’m a lurker who found your blog through a link (to the page about your daughter’s experience with her vaccinations) on Epbot.

    I’m in New Zealand, so don’t even know if I qualify for this contest, but I’d like to enter just in case.

    I was bullied mercilessly as a child right through until the end of high school. My school memories remain some of my most unpleasant. I was also sexually assaulted (by a stranger while on holiday) at age 13. I believe that these are connected because unfortunately I’m not very good at having a voice for myself, I don’t have a very robust sense of self, and was/am easily victimised. It was also suggested (by my counsellor I used to see) that a contributing factor may have been that my mother wasn’t able to model and/or teach me the skills to keep myself safe because she didn’t have those resources herself (she was also sexually assaulted as a teenager).

    I’ve also been subject to extreme workplace bullying, so much so that I’m still haunted by several of my former jobs, especially the last job that I had before I stopped work to become a parent.

    I’m now mother to two little girls (2 years & 5 months respectively) and I’m terrifed (internally) that I’m not going to be able to teach them to protect themselves, to keep themselves safe in the world, and to navigate and experience their lives from a position of strength rather than fear. I’ve also got no idea how to deal with bullies in any way other than adding to the cycle of violence – it was the only way my dad taught us (and knew himself) – “if you don’t want to be bullied, just stand up for yourself once and hit them and they’ll leave you alone forever”. Especially because I was never brave enough to do this, so it was essentially useless advice.

    I would love a copy of this book so that I can learn to parent from a position of strength rather than fear when it comes to social relationships. I believe it would be hugely helpful to me personally as well.

    Even if I’m not eligible/successful I will still continue reading your blog and being inspired and assisted by your experiences and advice. I think that it is so important to have a space dealing with and acknowledging the myriad issues that society is fraught with for girls and women, especially because most of them are so entrenched they’re invisible. Thank you for providing such a space and such a lot of sensible, applicable help.

  21. As the parent of young children (son is 4, daughter is 2) I would read this book with two questions in mind. One, how NOT to raise a bully. No signs have emerged, but I want to make sure that never evolves. And two, how to respond when our children meet a bully.

    In terms of spreading the word, first I would read it and then share it with my husband so that we would be on the same page. After, I would discuss it at my Book Club With a Twist — we report on what we’ve been reading as opposed to all discussing one book. It is filled with mothers. I’d loan it to anyone wanting a read. Once done, I would donate it to our local library.

    Thanks for posting.

  22. Jennifer says:

    Read and share everything I learn from this book with whoever is willing to listen, my husband, kids, nieces, nephews, sisters, brothers, in laws, friends, neighbors, parenting groups, etc! And loan it to those interested!

  23. I was bullied some. Kids can be cruel. And I tried to be friendly to whichever one of the “clique” was being ostracized at the moment. I am not sure I was always kind to those who were worse off than me, but I hope so. Now that I have kids of my own, I realize I have no idea how to help them if they find themselves in this situation. I sure hope I am raising them to be kind and respectful to everyone (and especially the “underdogs”) but I don’t know what to do or what to teach them if they are the victim. I’d love to win a copy, and learn.

  24. I think after I read it I would pass it along to the principal and teachers at the school my kids attend. They really do a lot of anti-bullying talk, but I am not sure that it all works. My girls seem to think playground arguments are examples of bullying, and yet when a boy in their class SPIT on one of them and repeatedly told her she was stupid, she didn’t see this as bullying. So to my mind, they maybe need some fresh ideas.

  25. I would love this book because I think it would really help with some problems my daughter is facing right now at school. She has never been one to love the mall and pink and sparkles, nor does she care what the “coolest” cloths are and if she is wearing them, which has never been a problem before she moved up to middle school this year. Now the girls there bully her all the time, and she often comes home crying and is now starting to change what she wears and how she acts in futile attempts to make the problem go away. We had her stop using her facebook to prevent the cyberbullying angle from appearing but I really feel like this could give me some good ideas on how to help my little girl over come the problems at school and stay true to who she wants to be. I would also love to get some of the teachers at the school reading this, and help them realize that bullying is a real problem more than “little girl drama” and they need to try and help these kids. Thank you for all you do to help girls be themselves and to the author for writing about this growing problem.

  26. I would LOVE to get a copy of this book. I work for an education council in CT. Part of what we do is bring both urban and suburban students into our magnet schools to create a deeply diverse environment where all children can learn at high levels as well as learn from one another. As you can imagine, this often presents many challenges – especially in the areas of exclusivity and bullying. We have put together commitees to deal specifically with policies and procedures around bullying. We often feel like we’re in a one step foward, two steps back pattern, but we WILL get there!

  27. while my experiences with bullying were never as severe as others’ I do remember being judged and feeling left out because I was quiet. I see so much of myself in my daughter and am terrified of her (or my son) being bullied to the point of breaking their spirits. I would LOVE to read this book in an effort to ensure that my children have the tools to deal with bullying with confidence and love. I have told them that bullies are usually scared, jealous or hurting and don’t know how to express it but as they just started pre-school and enter the world of possibilites, I am wrecked with anxiety about this issue. Thanks for all you do!!

  28. I would love to win a copy for my husband who is an Elementary School Counselor (of course he’d have to wait for it until after I read it!). I feel so blessed to have never been the victim of bullying. Sure I had some small episodes as a child of kids being mean, but never anything that was ongoing or systematic. So far, my 2nd grade daughter has been fortunate as well, but I want her to have the tools should she ever need them for herself or to help a friend. Like others have said, I would love to read Carrie’s ideas on how to prevent bullying and how to teach parents and educators better ways to prevent bullying and break the cycle. Also, I want to teach my own children (aged 7 and 3) how to stand up for themselves and for others.

  29. I have a 5 year old daughter who just started kindergarten. I would use the information in this book to help her (and later, her little sister) navigate through her school years. I am also a former teacher and plan to return to work within the next few years. I would love to have this book to use as a resource in my classroom!

  30. Suzanne Van says:

    I was horridly bullied from 4th-8th grade by one boy in particular. The school wouldn’t do anything because his parents were very wealthy & gave a lot of money to the school. The reason for the bullying? My height. I was (am) short.

    Last year, my son was bullied until he hit the kid who was bullying him. Apparently this was going on on the playground and bus and no one noticed. We found out when he got in trouble for hitting one of the boys. I worry about this year. He’s short, immature, hyper, and has a speach issue. I can hear the baby comments.

    I am also a credentialed teacher who is currently subbing. I look forward to reading this book for any help it can give me in helping my son and the students I come in contact with.

  31. As a Child and Youth Counsellor that works with the bullies and the bullied, it is constant, and it breaks my heart everyday. I am starting a Peer Mediation program next year to try and develop empathy instead of bystanders. I am a single parent, and my daughter is starting kindergarten in the Fall. Truthfully, it terrifies me. All I can do is hope I have raised a strong and confident young woman who feels strong in who she is and is never afraid to speak her truth or stand up for others. Knowledge is power, and the better we equip our children, the better their chances are of navigating their world and finding amazing friends!

  32. My son is bullied at school, as he is more intellectual and emotional than the other boys, and is not into any sort of sports or violent games. Even the girls take advantage of his sweet nature to gain power over him. He is moving into grade 4 and while his teachers and principals (who come and go) understand that he is different, they don’t quite know what to do to stop the bullying. Even his last long-term substitute teacher didn’t know how to react to a boy like my son and bullied him when he wasn’t responding the way the teacher wanted. I would love some assistance in understanding how to help my child so that he wants to be at school and can go without fear.

    As I am also a high school teacher, I see bullying occurring in my classroom and do what I can do to stop it, but it is difficult and I would like more tools there too. Being different is tough enough without people calling out the differences as negative aspects. I’m hoping to continue building my classroom into a welcome place for students at any time of the day, regardless of who is in the room.

  33. I was bullied as a child, only I didn’t really recognize it then. I think back to those times in grade school and I cringe. It’s enough to almost bring me to tears. I switched schools, which made a slight difference, but I really didn’t come out of my shell until college, law school, and now as a fully mature (supposedly, LOL!) adult. Unfortunately I didn’t have the strength to stand up for myself back then. Now, I do. In fact, my big mouth is probably going to get me in trouble one day. 😉

    My biggest fear for my children is not that they suffer at the hands of a bully, although it does concern me. My biggest worry is that they become bullies themselves, because I am not entirely sure how I can handle it without going to that dark place from my childhood and handling it incorrectly.

    The one thing I can say to kids who have been bullied because they are different is this: it will get better if you believe in yourself and if you are lucky enough to find people who believe in you. I went from being a shy, introverted, almost painfully socially inept child to one who is now a proud federal prosecutor. It didn’t happen overnight; it took years. I was lucky, some kids are not.

    • So in other words, I’d like a copy of the book to make sure that I continue to be the mommy I know I can be, LOL. 🙂

  34. Hopefully this won’t double post. In conclusion, I’d love to win a copy of the book to make myself a better mommy, and a better person. Everyone has a little bit of bully in them, but it doesn’t have to be your identity.

  35. As a teacher, I see all kinds of bullying behavior. What I struggle with (and hope this book would assist with) is the parents of the students with this behavior. Too often, they are either too naiive or too stubborn to admit there is a problem. They go on the defensive, and end up trying to undermine our efforts to help. We have had classes and speakers who all talk a good game, but don’t really help in a real classroom or playground setting. I need a way to openly communicate with these parents and their children in a caring and diplomatic way. Thanks for suggesting this book. I will certainly try to find a copy, that is if I don’t win one!

  36. I haven’t been personally bullied in this capacity, but I’ve seen the effects of bullying through a dear friend of mine. K was bullied over and over again throughout middle school and high school and developed PTSD and a severe eating disorder. I don’t ever want my children or anyone else’s kiddos to feel like that. I will do anything I can to make sure they don’t.

    My children are biracial and we live in a state that isn’t known for its kindness towards differences. Already we’ve had to deal with a preschool classmate telling my daughter she “wished (My) wasn’t brown” and when My suggested a playdate, the classmate said that her parents wouldn’t like that. It didn’t seem to bother My and seemed to be just isolated events, this time. I want to prepared in case these situations escalate.

    I also would use this book in my professional life. I hope to be a youth librarian; so much bullying happens outside of the school. I want to be able to help kiddos deal with this sort of thing.

  37. I would really appreciate the chance to utilize this book in my children’s schools. After a recent failed suicide attempt at my son’s school, the administration has called a group of parents, (myself included), to reevaluate the schools anti-bullying policy. I would really like to bring the knowledge in this book to our group so that someone who obviously has extensive knowledge of what bullying goes on in schools can help with these policy changes.

    Personally though, I would like to read the book myself before bringing it to the group to get further educated on the cyberbullying aspect. While as a child I had experience with your typical playground bully, the world on the computer is very foreign to me. I really want to learn how to protect my children online. A few isolated incidents have occured where my kids (mainly my daughter) have come to me with trouble on Facebook or Twitter, but I really am not sure of what goes on behind the virtual door or how best to handle it and I feel like this book could be a world of help.

    Thank you so much for offering the oportunity to get this book, I really feel it could help me make a difference in the life of my kids and the kids at their school.

  38. I know it’s too late to win, but I wanted to add a comment anyway. My daughter is turning 5 tomorrow and is already getting bullied in daycare and at school. She has aspergers and the other kids can tell shes different. They call her all sorts of names and she often comes home crying. It reminds me of when I was a kid, my experience was quite similar. Anyway, in an effort to be proactive on all fronts, I volunteered to be a girl scout leader for her daisy troupe (and move up the ranks with her). Why? Well girls scouts can be awesome with the right leader and I really want to cultivate a culture of caring and empathy in the group. I hope to stop a couple of bullies before their made and provide a social activity where my daughter might feel more accepted. I plan to get a copy of this book to help. Thanks for the info.

    • Hi EME –
      I am so sorry for the experience your daughter had at school. I hope her Daisy experience proves to be as positive as it was for my daughter, and I think it is fantastic that you agreed to be a leader for the troop! Best wishes to you both.

  39. This is both sad and inspirational. I know a kid in our neighborhood who could use this book. He is bully, but most of us parents believe he could be a good kid, but he is getting bullying from home. We have no proof, but there are signs of mental abuse. I think this book might help him, and maybe his family, and in turn the kids he interacts with.

  40. I was bullied as a little kid, too, and the story of what the boy did to your daughter is sickening. I will check out this book, because honestly, we need to stop this. It’s frightening and getting worse with kids committing suicide.

  41. I am an elementary school’s Library Assistant in an area that has a lot of lower income housing. Our school is full of Awesome in so many ways, including the ways we all work toward helping our students learn about making good choices. It would be my pleasure to buy this book for our collection and make it available to students and staff alike. Alas, we have had no budget for buying new books for years. I would love to receive a copy and place a bold bookplate announcing the source of the donation.

  42. I don’t know how my age relates to those reading this, but I probably am a bit younger than most…

    I have been bullied all my life up until a few years ago and it is awful, my heart goes out to Katie. 🙂

    I really think that bullying comes down to how the parents deal with it, and making it very clear that it is not the child’s fault. I remember being far too scared to say anything, and I paid for it. Eventually I learned to fight and a few years later pullet a black belt out, and it was the best feeling ever. But, really, this is not how it should ever happen.

    For parents (imo) it is important to just make it clear that they can and should tell mommy and daddy about the bullies and that through words, mommy and daddy can put the bullies where they belong.

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