The Barbie Project: Phew

Barbie ProjectThis month marks number six of the Barbie Project and I’m really grateful the only parameter given to all of us moms was: Get down on the floor, play, and observe. Share with us what you learn.

There is a lot we can learn from our kids, once we master the art of sitting back and listening. I think sometimes we get so busy in our ‘over-parenting’ mode that we miss the opportunities our kids provide.

About a week ago Amelia and I were walking into her Girl Scout Brownie meeting and the sun was at our backs, low in the sky on a late September afternoon. This elongated our shadows in front of us and as Amelia noticed this she began walking in a glamorous way and said, “Hey Mom! Do I look like Barbie?”

Given what I do for a living (in part, providing families with tangible tips on raising confident girls) you might think this question from her would make me panic that my young daughter’s strong body image and self-esteem had fallen apart, and months of playing with Barbie had driven her to accept harmful beauty norms and all of that baggage dumped on Barbie’s plastic shoulders. I could have launched into a soul-saving speech about how she’ll never look like Barbie unrealistic proportions and she’s beautiful just the way she is but beauty isn’t everything and it is who she is on the inside that counts……

Whoa! Deep breath.

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Instead, I said nothing and as I watched my daughter sashay across the parking lot I thought about what was inside my head at eight years old. You know what? I can distinctly remember watching my long shadows in the late afternoon in my front yard in Pittsburgh, thinking I looked like Barbie with my instantly-long legs and sophisticated walk on tip toes in my jelly shoes. I do not recall ever wanting to look like Barbie, but I certainly wanted to be grown up. I can remember wondering what I would look like as a grown up and that I couldn’t wait for long legs because that meant I was no longer a short little kid. Maybe that’s all Barbie meant to Amelia, too.

I was about to answer Amelia when she runway-walked herself right into a pole and fell over. With her arms and legs all over the place and everything she had been carrying spread about, she instantly reminded me of the mess of Barbies on her bedroom floor and I said yes, now she definitely look like her Barbies. She thought that was pretty funny and she walked into her Girl Scout meeting with a smile.

I think the lesson for both of us that afternoon: Being a little girl is all about having balance.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fast forward to yesterday afternoon, Amelia was in her room playing with her Barbies and I wandered up to get a few photos for this month’s post. I walked in to find her in deep concentration, huddled over her toy dog.

The doctor tells me this dog choked on a hot dog during a beach rescue. I don't even know how that happens, but it sounds serious.

The doctor tells me this dog choked on a hot dog during a beach rescue.

“I’m going to need your help. This dog has a pulmonary aspiration…a giant hot dog. She’s been under for about twenty minutes and I’m going to have to do a tracheostomy at this point,” Amelia said is a very matter-of-fact, clipped manner.

“Oh, are your Barbies running an emergency vet hospital?” I guessed, kind of not getting what was going on. Which was about to become all the more clear in a moment.

“No honey, I am running the hospital. She went down during a beach rescue,” Amelia said as she continued to work on the toy dog. “I’m going to need you to scrub in. I need to tube her. Hurry up!”

I realized I didn’t know where exactly I was supposed to scrub in for surgery, and I was distracted by the pile of naked Barbies lined up on the floor next to me.

“Trach tube!” Amelia barked.

“The wha?” Me, clueless and feeling bad for my plastic patients.

Amelia using a Barbie to perform a tracheostomy during surgery.

Amelia using a Barbie to perform a tracheostomy during surgery.

“Oh never mind!” Amelia grabbed one of the naked dolls, spun her around in her hand and inserted a foot into the dog’s mouth and successfully ejecting a hot dog. Apparently the Barbies were Amelia’s surgical tools.

“I’m going to finish here. Go check on the mermaid in OR 6. She had a really bad case of bioluminescence. Make sure her kelp iv is still going and ask her friends to move to the waiting room. It is going to be a long surgery and I’m going to try a new procedure, but tell them her prognosis is good.”

The mermaid in OR 6.

 

PHEW! Yeah, you know, after six months of playing with Barbies, I think we’re all good here.

Amelia's patient pulled through surgery.

Amelia’s patient pulled through surgery.

 

Learn more about The Barbie Project and meet the other bloggers on the project.

On twitter, look for hashtag #BarbieProject and join the conversation.

{Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign as part of The Barbie Project. All thoughts and ideas are my own.}

Barbie Project

 

Melissa Atkins Wardy owns and operates Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies, a small business in Wisconsin, where our shirts are printed and shipped with love. 

Find Melissa Atkins Wardy’s book “Redefining Girly: How Parents Can Fight the Stereotyping and Sexualizing of Girlhood, Birth to Tween” on Amazon.

Join the PPBB Community in conversation on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

The Barbie Project: Accessories Are a Girl’s Best Friend

We are in our final five days of summer, just a few sweet hours remain before the kids return to school. The memories have been made, trips taken, ballgames won, fireflies caught and released, trails hiked and lakes jumped into, bonfires burned, lemonade stands held, adventures with cousins had and more dinners allotted to the local ice cream joint than should be appropriate. Our summer bucket list is nearly complete and as we look down the home stretch to three glorious months…..

We can’t stand the sight of each other.

There has been a lot of “togetherness” this summer for the children and I, which is wonderful. And not, because I work from home and “work from home” with two kids + two dogs + two kittens is nuts. N – U – T – S.

So the other afternoon I had the kids go to their bedrooms with their kittens for some quiet time. An hour later I went to check on them on account of too much quiet – which is always unsettling for parents – and found Benny slumped over napping in a giant bucket of LEGO and Amelia sorting through all of her Barbie outfits and accessory pieces. Earlier in the day she had found a castle and furniture at a garage sale she just had. to. have. As her kitten purred in the background she dressed and redressed each doll as she planned out their role in the story she was creating in her head.

Kittens love Barbie.

Kittens love Barbie

I sat down and looked at the pieces around me which led me to think back on when I was her age and would have been doing the same thing during a rainy summer afternoon. I wondered what she was thinking about and if she would remember these lazy hours of her childhood like I do mine.

Amelia plays with her Barbies, obligatory Naked Barbie present and accounted for.

Amelia plays with her Barbies, obligatory Naked Barbie present and accounted for.

I asked her what she was playing and if her Barbies liked their new house. As we chit chatted, I surveyed the pieces around me.

The accessories around me gave me pause, they might not be what people associate with Barbie.

The accessories around me gave me pause, they might not be what people associate with Barbie.

The bright pink (SO much pink) accessories around me made me smile. They reminded me of the adventures my Barbies played out when I was a girl. They are bits and pieces to imagination. A key meant to unlock stories. A prop able to enhance a script waiting to be written and rewritten each time they were pulled out.

You know, Barbie takes a lot of heat for being vapid, focused on beauty, shopping etc. Maybe some Barbies facilitate that,  but I feel the dolls we’ve brought into our home for Amelia send a different message. I think it is easy to sell girls short and assume they’ll play “Wedding Day” or “Shopping Spree” over and over again with their dolls.

I think it is wise to expect more from girls.

Amelia's favorite dolls and their accessories.

Amelia’s favorite dolls and their accessories.

Pilot hat

Passport

Suitcase

Treasure chest

Ocean creatures and a bucket of fish

SCUBA tank, mask, regulator and fins

Briefcase, tablet, smart phone

Astronaut helmet and suit, air tank, moon boots

These things tell Amelia to go out into the world. To dive deep, soar high. To run a business instead of work for one. That the layers of the atmosphere do not confine her. They remind her girls are confident, competent, and courageous.

These items spread across Amelia’s bedroom floor could take her to a sunken ship full of treasure, an investment meeting, or a new planet waiting to be explored. Of course, those are the obvious uses and my eight year old would roll her eyes and says she is far more clever and creative than that. One of the things I like about Barbie is the outfits and accessories are interchangeable, meaning the stories waiting to be created during play are interchangeable as well. So the woman of color who is a pilot can easily change into the business outfit for a press conference because now she is the POTUS. YES. PLEASE.

And the astronaut suit could become a hazmat suit for compassionate health relief workers delivering a much-needed antidote to victims of a terrible epidemic or intrepid engineers who rescue people in danger on a broken space station who had been hunting treasure in space that is guarded by aliens posing as familiar sea creatures who cover you in goo and feed you to fury orange monsters who live in purple tents.

Listen, I’ve been critical of Barbie before and I probably will be again if need be. But I like the side of Barbie that shows girls they can dream and aspire to do big things in the world.

I guess sometimes I have to ask if it is Barbie who limits girls…..or the adults around girls who assume they know what will happen during play because girls are so……girly. I define “girly” as girls who see themselves as accomplished pilots, extraordinary ocean researchers, powerful businesswomen, and explorers of our world and beyond. Yeah, that’s VERY girly to me! More importantly, that’s how my daughter views being a girl and playing with Barbies has not come close to undoing any of that.

Amelia commented that she really really liked how the dolls' faces were different from each other.

Amelia commented that she really really liked how the dolls’ faces were different from each other.

The child’s imagination is limited only by toys that are limiting. The afternoon I spent watching Amelia play I observed Barbie as a great companion for story telling. Better put – Barbie was a vehicle for storytelling. When chosen with diverse storytelling in mind and with the idea that girls should know no limits, there are many Barbies that offer this type of play to girls. In our home I try to guide Amelia with choosing toys that reflect what real life looks like, so we make sure to have dolls that represent women doing a variety of jobs, experiences, and adventures. Equally important to us are dolls that represent women of color as the world is a colorful place.  I’d love for there to be even more diversity in Barbie’s appearance and body, and Amelia and I talk about that issue and how we’d like for Barbie to explore that more. Maybe some day they will.

I think there is a lot left to explore, including parents really exploring how their daughter’s imagination works and what stories unfold on bedroom floors or tree forts or where ever it is your girl’s dreams come to life and they use Barbie as a tool in that storytelling.

What stories does your daughter tell?

 

Learn more about The Barbie Project and meet the other bloggers on the project.

On twitter, look for hashtag #BarbieProject and join the conversation.

{Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign as part of The Barbie Project. All thoughts and ideas are my own.}

Barbie Project

 

Melissa Atkins Wardy owns and operates Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies, a small business in Wisconsin, where our shirts are printed and shipped with love. 

Find Melissa Atkins Wardy’s book “Redefining Girly: How Parents Can Fight the Stereotyping and Sexualizing of Girlhood, Birth to Tween” on Amazon.

Join the PPBB Community in conversation on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

The Barbie Project: Our Barbie Dream House

My daughter has gotten into playing with dolls recently and it is fun to see the stories unfold as her imagination takes over. Sometimes she enjoys sitting and changing their clothes and putting together different outfits. Like a cute shift dress with an astronaut helmet and moon boots, or a wetsuit underneath a ballgown….because a girl never really knows what is going to happen with her day.

Amelia has been asking for a Barbie Dream house. The ones for sale are cute enough I guess, but they are big and expensive. As I looked the options over I didn’t feel like they represented Amelia’s dreams. Also, the pink. Just so much pink. I know that is Barbie’s thing, but Amelia loves blue. She loves science, art, travel, dogs and books.

Then I thought maybe it would be a fun project for her and I to build a house together. My mom made a castle for me when I was Amelia’s age and it was my favorite toy. My Barbies and My Little Ponies and Strawberry Shortcake dolls spent many, many hours playing in that castle. So did my cat.

The doll castle my mom made for me when I was Amelia's age. Beloved by me and my cat.

The doll castle my mom made for me when I was Amelia’s age. Beloved by me and my cat.

Amelia was a little unsure of how the project would turn out, but once I showed her the photos of my old castle she was hooked. And begging for a kitten.

We started by me handing her a pile of cardboard boxes I had been saving. Amelia was put in charge of designing the house how she wanted it, as well as choosing the right sized boxes to make it structurally sound. She spent about half an hour playing around with different options, realizing certain configurations posed a building collapse threat, and which boxes would give her the space needed for the different rooms she wanted.

Amelia designs the structure for her house using some simple engineering concepts.

Amelia designs the structure for her house using some simple engineering concepts.

Next we talked about what rooms/elements she wanted and how she would design it. As she looked over arts & crafts scraps for inspirations I wrote down her list:

– fireplace, elevator, singing shower + bath tub, television, carpet, chandelier, fancy couches, and pink, yellow, green, blue, red, and purple rooms.

Amelia develops concepts for her very own dream house.

Amelia develops concepts for her very own dream house.

We spray painted the boxes the colors that she had chosen. I guess we didn’t succeed in getting away from all that pink! This was the only step she didn’t participate in, mostly because she is a well-known rascal and learning how to operate spray paint is not a skill I want her to possess right now….

Our Barbie House gets under way....pink and turquoise.

Our Barbie House gets under way….pink and turquoise.

Next we got out art supplies, crafting scraps, and old magazines. We talked about what rooms would need what (the kitchen needs a fridge, she suggested it also needs a candy store). It was interesting to watch her pick styles and colors and personal touches that were important to her. And I learned fascinating facts from Amelia, like white shower curtains “are rather in bad taste” and that pools should always go on the roof.

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Interior decorating begins. LOTS of imagination went into this.

Interior decorating begins. LOTS of imagination went into this.

We had to hold off on fixing interior lighting (I may or may not have started a small fire in one of the boxes with some faulty wiring. Oops.) and the elevator endeavor needs more work. We’ll have to postpone those as STEM projects for Mommy Summer School.

Each room offers things Amelia loves, and I’m so proud of what she created. This is really her Dream House…. 

She has her travel-themed bedroom that has a map of the Washington DC metro for a floor and pictures of kayaking, camping, and exploring on the walls. A sliding door takes her to her “outside hangout room” that she wanted. The other side of the second floor has her laundry room/sports equipment room and her art studio. The walls of the art studio feature inspiring words and a photograph of her hero, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The master bedroom on the third floor has a library, a rocking closet that features a photo of the monarch butterflies she loves to raise from eggs, and bathroom with a huge counter and dual sinks (a concept she is obsessed with). The third floor also features her rooftop pool.

The main floor of the house has her big front porch, fancy Paris bathroom, a “living room that dogs and cats can go in but kids can’t run”, a dining room with a nature theme, and a kitchen with an ode to the Wisconsin cheese this kid lives on. And a chihuahua in a fancy bed to boot.

The finished house! It features all of Amelia's loves and dreams.

The finished house! It features all of Amelia’s loves and dreams.

Here’s some more detailed photos…..

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The rooms of Amelia's Barbie Dream House.

The rooms of Amelia’s Barbie Dream House.

I think it is safe to say, she likes it…..

Relaxing in her Dream House.

Relaxing in her Dream House.

It was so great to watch Amelia’s creativity and imagination blossom as she put this project together. I helped her with steps, but she the design is all her.

Have you ever created something like this for your child? What kinds of things do you think she would include that would reflect who she is?

 

Learn more about The Barbie Project and meet the other bloggers on the project.

On twitter, look for hashtag #BarbieProject and join the conversation.

{Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign as part of The Barbie Project. All thoughts and ideas are my own.}

Barbie Project

 

Melissa Atkins Wardy owns and operates Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies, a small business in Wisconsin, where our shirts are printed and shipped with love. 

Find Melissa Atkins Wardy’s book “Redefining Girly: How Parents Can Fight the Stereotyping and Sexualizing of Girlhood, Birth to Tween” on Amazon.

Join the PPBB Community in conversation on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

The Barbie Project: Base Camps, Brains, and Beauty

This past Tuesday evening my eight year old daughter and I drove up to the UW – Madison campus to hear Dr. Mireya Mayor speak as part of the National Geographic Live tour. I had read Mayor’s book, “Pink Boots and a Machete” a couple of years ago and really enjoyed following her work. To my second grader Amelia, Mireya Mayor was a hero, part scientist and part Indiana Jones-like international explorer.

I think it is important for Amelia to have contemporary female heroines so when I saw that Mayor was coming to Madison I immediately bought tickets and I’m so, so glad that I did. Amelia and I had a GREAT time at Mayor’s talk. It was exciting, beautiful, inspiring, funny and touching. When Mayor first walked on stage in her sleek black pants, black stiletto heels and pin straight hair Amelia whispered to me, “Oh Mom! She looks like my Barbie scientist!”

I smiled and said yes, Dr. Mireya was indeed very pretty and that I was excited to hear about all of the adventures she had been on. Over the next hour we traveled around the globe with Mayor, going in and out of African rain forests and field sites in Madagascar and tent camps hanging off of cliffs in South America. We heard about Mayor being inspired by Dian Fossey and Jane Goodall. We learned about never-seen-before frogs and mouse lemurs Mayor discovered on expeditions, and we saw the ugly side of trekking around the world in the form of mud, blisters, hunger, and illness.  Amelia was breathless, hanging on Mayor’s every word. At one point Amelia became so excited I thought she was going to rush the stage.

And that is what I wanted for Amelia out of tonight — to see a woman standing in front of her who would say, “I did all of these incredibly amazing things and you can too.” I was thrilled to see so many young girls also in the audience. Entire Girl Scout troops had come to see her! In fact, during the Q & A following her talk I approached the stage and handed Mayor a copy of my book while I asked her to tell all of the girls in the audience what are two or three things they could do now as tweens and young women if they wanted to become scientists and explorers.

Mireya’s answer was beautiful, but it was also incredibly empowering. She shared with the audience that she had been told all of her life that she was a pretty girl. Her Cuban mother and over-protective aunts wouldn’t let their little doll be in Girl Scouts because they felt it was too dangerous. Mayor worked hard in school because she knew she was very bright (Fulbright scholar-bright), but her prettiness always came first to other people. In college she was treated poorly by professors who thought her too much a girly-girl to go on expeditions or be taken seriously about earning a PhD in anthropology. She experienced bias and stereotypes because to help pay her way through school she was a Miami Dolphins cheerleader. People couldn’t see past her attractive exterior to get to the intelligence and grit and confidence that lay underneath.

And as she talked about this, I kept thinking about Amelia’ comment about Barbie when she first saw Mayor. Amelia is a gorgeous girl, truly beautiful, and I wondered what she was thinking as she was hearing Mayor describe the bias she encountered because of her looks. It reminded me of another awesome and also beautiful female explorer we follow, Alison Teal. I didn’t want Amelia getting the message that the world would say you can be beautiful, or you can be brainy and brave. In our family, women are all three.

Because of her pretty face, no one took Mayor seriously at university. Until she made them. She proved herself over and over again in the field, has made remarkable discoveries in the field of primatology, and has done fantastic work traveling the globe as a National Geographic correspondent. Oh, and during all of this she just so happens to be a mother to five kids under the age of eight. Like I said, serious hero material right here.

She told the girls in the audience not to allow anyone to hold them back. She encouraged them to always believe in themselves and to believe in the power of their minds. She promised them there was so much left in the world to discover and it was just out there, waiting for them. And she told them that it didn’t matter what other people thought of them, they could become whoever they wanted to be.

After the show Amelia and I grabbed a slice of pizza and while we were eating I asked her what her favorite part of the night was. She chattered about needing a passport and wanting to drop out of second grade to begin attending UW Madison.  Amelia said that she liked how Dr. Mireya was pretty and proud to be a girl but that what was most important was how smart and brave she was.

Amelia looked up at me in that moment, her eyes a little misty and she said in a tone reflecting awe, “Mom? Remember the part when Dr. Mireya was talking about sleeping above the clouds? I’m going to do that some day, too. I’m going to be just like her.”

Amelia is speaking of an expedition Mayor took to remote mountains in South America, described as lost islands in the clouds. On cliffs thousands of feet in the air Mayor and her crew spent the night in tents sitting on a three foot wide shelf, secured to the rock face with climbing pins. When she woke the next morning she was face-to-face with the sunrise, having slept above the cloud layer.

Something like this….

Climbers with tents secured to the cliff face.

Climbers with tents secured to the cliff face.

Which is why the following day, I should not have been shocked when I walked into Amelia’s room and discovered this:

Amelia's recreation of one of Mireya Mayor's expeditions.

Amelia’s recreation of one of Mireya Mayor’s expeditions.

Base Camp Barbie and her porters are cliff camping, in my bras, just like Amelia’s hero Mireya Mayor. Amelia was using her Barbie dolls to play out the exhilarating adventures flying through her imagination. The human lungs and heart are from her medical school mannequin, I’m guessing those are supposed to be the rocks at the base of the cliff.

I’ve been criticized for allowing Amelia to play with Barbie, and I understand some of the concerns and I think everyone has the right to their own opinion. But what I notice when Amelia plays with Barbie is that she isn’t really focusing on the beauty or the fashion. She uses her Barbie to play out adventures, just like I used to do when I was little with my Barbies. I think craving adventure must run in the family.

I think raising healthy girls is all about balance, so Amelia and I talk about body diversity and defining beauty for ourselves and we make sure her Barbies are wearing clothes that aren’t too sexy and shoes that allow Barbie to accomplish the adventure at hand. I have great conversations with Amelia as she questions or calls out ridiculous body proportions and homogeneous beauty she sees in media. She sees me model a positive, healthy body image.

So I can handle a little Barbie. After all, Amelia is using the world’s most beautiful and most vilified doll to prove to me that she knows that pretty’s got nothing to do with it. Bravery and brains are what we value most in our family. Amelia has shown me that beautiful Barbie and adventurous play are not mutually exclusive.

Maybe Amelia will grow up to be a world-exploring, cliff-camping, jungle-trekking anthropologist who repels off some of the globe’s steepest cliffs in search of unfound species while coming face to face with some of the deadliest snakes. I hope so, if that is where her heart takes her. Considering the rest of Amelia’s bedroom looks like this, I see a prescription for Xanax in my future…..

Amelia's desk, full of specimens, a camera, magnifying glasses, and homemade satellite phone and computer.

Amelia’s desk, full of specimens, a camera, magnifying glasses, binoculars, and homemade satellite phone and computer.

 

Amelia's prize possessions, her giant microscope and whale chart.

Amelia’s prize possessions, her giant microscope and whale chart.

 

Learn more about The Barbie Project and meet the other bloggers on the project.

On twitter, look for hashtag #BarbieProject and join the conversation.

{Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign as part of The Barbie Project. All thoughts and ideas are my own.}

Barbie Project

 

 

Melissa Atkins Wardy owns and operates Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies, a small business in Wisconsin, where our shirts are printed and shipped with love. 

Find Melissa Atkins Wardy’s book “Redefining Girly: How Parents Can Fight the Stereotyping and Sexualizing of Girlhood, Birth to Tween” on Amazon.

Join the PPBB Community in conversation on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

The Barbie Project: My Little Girl Has Two of Everything

The other day my daughter and I were sitting under a sun-filled window in her room, setting up her Barbie camping set as her Elsa doll and Dolphin Trainer Barbie were going camping with Elsa’s pet Golden Retriever and the trained dolphins. I took this quiet moment to share with my daughter that very good friends of ours were going to become foster parents to a girl her age.

She thought over my words a bit, and then asked if the girl could come over to play with her. I said that after the girl had had some time to adjust to her new family and home, a playdate would be a great idea.

Amelia looked down at her dolls and said softly, “Good, because I have two of everything.”

I wondered what she meant by that, did she mean all of her dolls? Her outdoor toys? Her science kits? The fact that she has a bedroom upstairs she never really uses because she still sleeps in the bunk in her little brother’s room? Did she mean all of the clothes she has?But in that moment I did not want to pry because she seemed to be in a very reflective state. Was she thinking about what would happen if her parents were unable to take care of her? Was she thinking about having to move into a new home with a new family?

She focused intently in setting the scene for her Barbies to begin acting out the script it seems she had written in her head. Accessories and props were being set just so. Outfits changed and changed again until the perfect cast had been assembled for the day’s play. I can remember doing the same when I was a child, where the rules of the real world didn’t apply to the stories I created. I wondered what Amelia and her camping dolphins were about to say.

Amelia's Barbie dolls, waiting for the day's casting call.

Amelia’s Barbie dolls, waiting for the day’s casting call.

“I have two of everything, so it would be very easy for me to share everything with her. Do you know if she has brown skin?” Amelia asked.

“Oh, actually I don’t know what she looks like. I just know her name and her age. Why do you ask?” I know my child is enamored with Martin Luther King Jr (among other things, they share a birthday), but I thought it was an odd question for her to ask.

“I asked because I only have one brown skinned Barbie. We need to go get another one before she comes to play. I want her to see that my Barbies can be different people and when you sort them out I have too many that are blonde with blue eyes. I have two green eyes and four brown eyes including the dolls from Jordan but only one of them who isn’t a mermaid has brown skin. But all skin is beautiful so we should just make sure there is a nice mix,” Amelia said and I have to admit, I was really proud that she thinks about these things when she plays. My kids have been raised to noticed gender balance, body diversity, and racial diversity in the media they consume.

“Well, sure, diversity is important and we should have it in our toys, too. So we should definitely get another brown skin Barbie.”

“Right,” Amelia agreed, “because either way we’re going to need two Rosa Parks. And Rosa Parks was not a mermaid, let me tell  you.”

“Ah, sure. I had not thought of that.”

“Oh, honey. I know.” And with that Amelia turned back to playing, arranging the camping tent, pail of fish for the dolphins, and glowing campfire just so.

And I think sometimes we need to pause and recognize toys we may or may not love as parents can mean something different to our daughters. We can be aware of and decode the messages these toys send and I feel that is very important, but not at the expense of missing the messages our children are sending back to us.

A Barbie doll is a toy my child owns. It is a tool operated by her imagination. It is not what defines her, nor writes her future. What a girl owns is not necessarily who she will become. I want to give my daughter a great variety of toys to engage her imagination. I also want to give her the space to show me who she wants to be in this world. This afternoon playing with Barbie allowed her to do both. I saw her imagination at work, as well as the kindness and sharing in her heart.

The camping expedition gets under way.

The camping expedition gets under way.

Learn more about The Barbie Project and meet the other bloggers on the project.

On twitter, look for hashtag #BarbieProject and join the conversation.

{Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign as part of The Barbie Project. All thoughts and ideas are my own.}

Barbie Project

 

Melissa Atkins Wardy owns and operates Pigtail Pals & Ballcap Buddies, a small business in Wisconsin, where our shirts are printed and shipped with love. 

Find Melissa Atkins Wardy’s book “Redefining Girly: How Parents Can Fight the Stereotyping and Sexualizing of Girlhood, Birth to Tween” on Amazon.

Join the PPBB Community in conversation on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.